Here's Dot.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Party pics
Merv just before he disappeared for the day during the painting weekend and then came back the little shit. I think he had too much wine. The little shit. Merv is right side up in the actual photo so I don't know what's going on here.
Here's Dot.
Here's a happy plant.
Here's Dot.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Cleansing of the pipes
So, yesterday, Mr. Froth called me at work at axed, "Did you take a massive dump this morning?"
And I replied, "Why, no. I just defouled the workplace toilet. Why? (Mind you I had a colonoscopy two weeks ago and I hope my purging didn't contribute to the distress, but, whatever.)"
Because he had gone into the powder room to relieve himself, whereupon the toilet tried to raise its water level, then lowered its water level to nothing, then clanked. Similar to what happened before the house renovation. These are new toilets, too. Albeit the new low flush crap.
He then went back to the master bathroom and noticed the same wrong water level and then peeked at the NEW UNUSED NEVER TO BE USED JACUZZI which had a couple inch layer of shit in it.
As did the lovely new tiled shower.
The plumber came, fixed it, without having to remove the toilets and he's a hero and I recommend him highly. But, now we have a Dot pee smell upstairs where she laid a bucket's worth on the laminate floor. After Merv horked up a lizard or two or seven pounds of cat hair on the new carpet which I blotted off and..
Tonight they took pictures. Please someone buy this.
And I replied, "Why, no. I just defouled the workplace toilet. Why? (Mind you I had a colonoscopy two weeks ago and I hope my purging didn't contribute to the distress, but, whatever.)"
Because he had gone into the powder room to relieve himself, whereupon the toilet tried to raise its water level, then lowered its water level to nothing, then clanked. Similar to what happened before the house renovation. These are new toilets, too. Albeit the new low flush crap.
He then went back to the master bathroom and noticed the same wrong water level and then peeked at the NEW UNUSED NEVER TO BE USED JACUZZI which had a couple inch layer of shit in it.
As did the lovely new tiled shower.
The plumber came, fixed it, without having to remove the toilets and he's a hero and I recommend him highly. But, now we have a Dot pee smell upstairs where she laid a bucket's worth on the laminate floor. After Merv horked up a lizard or two or seven pounds of cat hair on the new carpet which I blotted off and..
Tonight they took pictures. Please someone buy this.
Laissez les bons temps roulez and like that
I would imagine I am talking to myself at this point. But, I do that a lot, so, plus ca change plus c'est la meme.
Lotsa French!
Anyway. The house is finished. It's pretty fine. It's not mine in my head, but I do have to take care of it til we sell it, so there's that. It's quite empty and we need to keep it clean, with the help of cleaning ladies!!!1111, because we're actually going to list it next week.
From January 30 until April 11 our house was under renovation. During that time I believe my jaws clenched so hard that I will be getting a night guard after I have my four wisdom teeth pulled, two crowns replaced, a re-root canal and general beating about my head.
Hopefully, during the time I am vicodined up with the wisdom teeth we'll be showing the house to buyers and hopefully selling it quickly. The market here is insane, just north of Houston, with houses going in days. Which means we need to figure out some sort of exit plan. Exit plan, Our mantra for weeks but not acted upon until last week when we actually looked at places in the area.
I feel WAY better about our lack of furniture and the minimal decoration I've put into the place, as in, a new comforter and pillows...because, people. Really. People. Did you really think that neon green backsplash with the pinepanel floors throughout, 800 crosses and candles, parquay (poorly installed) floor in the master bedroom and turquoise bathroom were going to send me?
We looked at some of these places and said, "We're going from THIS to that?" Oh shit. Oh shittity shit shit past fuckety fuck
Then, we looked at two patio homes fit for older assholes like us. One I almost cried it was so perfect. Owned by a lovely British lady who had met Mr. Wonderful and was moving and had just constructed a huge wooden canopy over her back deck which was a beautiful shell-shaped concrete thing of gloriousity. Plus, she had massive roses, purple flowers and other stuff in the front that just made me happy. Wood floors, updated kitchen, two bedrooms, one story, just fabulous.
We both almost said, WE'LL BUY IT NOW. WE'LL FIGURE OUT HOW.
Then we came to our senses and told our realtor, figure your math, figure your percentage and get us to a point where we can pay cash for this like we planned. It will probably be gone by the time we sell but at least there are possibilities out there.
Househunting sucks largely. It's been 23 years since we did that and the nightmares still remain of looking at 10 houses a day for a week while being relocated.
More later.
Lotsa French!
Anyway. The house is finished. It's pretty fine. It's not mine in my head, but I do have to take care of it til we sell it, so there's that. It's quite empty and we need to keep it clean, with the help of cleaning ladies!!!1111, because we're actually going to list it next week.
From January 30 until April 11 our house was under renovation. During that time I believe my jaws clenched so hard that I will be getting a night guard after I have my four wisdom teeth pulled, two crowns replaced, a re-root canal and general beating about my head.
Hopefully, during the time I am vicodined up with the wisdom teeth we'll be showing the house to buyers and hopefully selling it quickly. The market here is insane, just north of Houston, with houses going in days. Which means we need to figure out some sort of exit plan. Exit plan, Our mantra for weeks but not acted upon until last week when we actually looked at places in the area.
I feel WAY better about our lack of furniture and the minimal decoration I've put into the place, as in, a new comforter and pillows...because, people. Really. People. Did you really think that neon green backsplash with the pinepanel floors throughout, 800 crosses and candles, parquay (poorly installed) floor in the master bedroom and turquoise bathroom were going to send me?
We looked at some of these places and said, "We're going from THIS to that?" Oh shit. Oh shittity shit shit past fuckety fuck
Then, we looked at two patio homes fit for older assholes like us. One I almost cried it was so perfect. Owned by a lovely British lady who had met Mr. Wonderful and was moving and had just constructed a huge wooden canopy over her back deck which was a beautiful shell-shaped concrete thing of gloriousity. Plus, she had massive roses, purple flowers and other stuff in the front that just made me happy. Wood floors, updated kitchen, two bedrooms, one story, just fabulous.
We both almost said, WE'LL BUY IT NOW. WE'LL FIGURE OUT HOW.
Then we came to our senses and told our realtor, figure your math, figure your percentage and get us to a point where we can pay cash for this like we planned. It will probably be gone by the time we sell but at least there are possibilities out there.
Househunting sucks largely. It's been 23 years since we did that and the nightmares still remain of looking at 10 houses a day for a week while being relocated.
More later.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Moving right along
Our garage is a treasure trove of scary THINGS. Some things I do not know what they are. Some things are the workers' tools and assorted cauldron fillers of building goops. Some things, one of which you don't see in this particular rendition, are toilets, front and center. It's very refreshing to open your garage door each day while waiting for the contractor peeps to come and let the neighbors and other passers by contemplate your old toilet.
Our kitchen for several days/weeks/years. There might be a painting in this one; I'm sort of liking the chiaroscuro as I distance myself from the actual experience.
Kitchen with half a hairdo. The washer and dryer were out of commission since January 30th. No. Really. The fridge sat in the middle of the room for pretty much that long. You can sort of see the paint starting to shape up and the tile is down. Kinda.
Our living room up til last weekend. Very zen. The couch and loveseat got along really well and I was hoping they'd make a baby end table or something since we threw all of ours out. They must be on the........pillow! Thank you. I'll be here all night.
Our bedroom right now. You're looking at the headboard at the front/bottom of the picture. The ghostly draped dresser/mirrors look sort of Victorian creepo book don't they? There are drawers, clothes and whatever under the righthand plastic. It's real nice. Real nice.
Pictures. I got pictures.
Now that we're pretty much enured to swirling debris, jackhammer and saw noises, dust and concrete grit and loss of things (we've thrown out a bunch of things but some things which are necessary things like cooking things I for SOME REASON packed up the first week) we can go "Ha ha ha. I faht at your upheaval! You are a WUSS. Quitcherbitchin'. You're lucky."
Which we are. Lucky that is.
With that being said I reserve all rights to being my usual caustic (Mr. Froth called me caustic last night over something else-a local residents-complaining-issue about which I give no shits.) and sarcastic self.
This here was our master bath until this past week. Work began on our house on January 30th. There used to be a tub there and flooring and whatnot. It looks like blood is dripping down the fence back there, but it was only either rain or the sprinklers. It's all run together so I can't remember which days were cold and wet and which weren't. Maybe it is blood.
This here below or wherever it is on the page is the master bath entrance/hallway thingie and you can see the new tub installed, naked and ready. It really was like living in a gas station.
This would be the kitchen area during wallpaper stripping. You can see our old stain color and the attractive slab that we became so fond of.
This is our bedroom during the first week when we were scrambling to get shit packed up and out and like that. We had a phenomenal amount of junk. AMAZING amount of useless old crap that we hadn't looked at in decades. So we threw it away. It's like bubblewrap or deleting emails, deliciously satisfying.
Here is the living room up til they put the tile in. Then, all that stuff was moved to the bedroom. Where all that stuff we threw away used to be. No. Really.
Which we are. Lucky that is.
With that being said I reserve all rights to being my usual caustic (Mr. Froth called me caustic last night over something else-a local residents-complaining-issue about which I give no shits.) and sarcastic self.
This here below or wherever it is on the page is the master bath entrance/hallway thingie and you can see the new tub installed, naked and ready. It really was like living in a gas station.
Here is the living room up til they put the tile in. Then, all that stuff was moved to the bedroom. Where all that stuff we threw away used to be. No. Really.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
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