Not the events, the opening ceremonies. I know, I know, it's been covered. However.
I've seen an Olympic opening ceremony in Albertville. It was just when shit started to get weird and Cirque du Soleil stuff was on the horizon and you could sit there with your mouth hanging open and go "FAR FUCKING OUT!" Bach was used for rollerblading music. I mean.
It was the trip of a lifetime. The performers and music were non pareil, the marching bubble ladies were cool, the bungee jumpers, the hanging drum bangers, etc. etc. etc. It really was fun.
So. Now. 2012. I like weird. I LOVE weird. I was hoping for WEIRD.
Sidebar: the Queen thingie was funny. The Corgis were adorable. Mr. Bean, whom I'm not a fan of, though in Rat Race he's great, was cute.
What I got was strikingly misconceived. That does not qualify as weird. And, the whole main point of all of these ceremonies is that they should be entertaining. Fun, funny, awe-inspiring, pretty, maybe just amusing. Weird in a good weird way. Not a dystopian lesson on our faulty morals and the strength of a failing European civilization.
Boring is not a quality one should strive for in a spectacle. And, in the end, this opening ceremony was boring and depressing, disconnected and, of course, as it flew past me, NHS, I thought, "Did I really see that? Did I?"
And did I really see the boring beds and ugly boring baby and abortion of Mary Poppins? Did I? Did I see a paean to social media? Really? I gotchur social media right here in my ass.
You must NOT bore me and assail me with ugly, because then I don't watch the rest and miss the rock concert.
Which I'm glad I missed, because,sorry, Paul McCartney is boring.
DO NOT BORE.