Friday, November 11, 2011

People. Eggs.

This is a psa for all y'alls who like gadgets. Specifically, egg-cooking gadgets. Specifically, Eggies.

This is what happens when you get all "Ooh! Sparkly things! Shiny things! Cheap things!" when you're filling out your Publishers Clearinghouse winner shit. I KNOW I'm gonna win money without buying something so I dint buy anything, but Mr. Froth was completely enamored with the Eggies flyer. We discussed in detail the possibilities of a quick and clean way of making hard boiled eggs, because who doesn't love a devilled egg? Or a, well, hard boiled egg now and then, plain? We decided, or I decided, to hit Bed Bath and Beyond, because they always have the crap that's in the flyers.

And, they did. So I bought them. Presented them to Mr. Froth at lunchtime and let him wail on the Eggies.

When I got home from work he was trying to find all the Eggie parts in the dishwasher in order to start cooking the eggs that we were so eagerly awaiting. His boiling water was down an inch or so, so I added more and then picked around with my smaller hands in the workings at the bottom of the dishwasher to retrieve the lids and rings for three of the holders. That may have been the first alert.

I found them and he oiled up the parts, ground the gears, forged some horseshoes, whipped up the pottery wheel...

Anyway, there was some disagreement on the efficacy of the tightness of the lids, but I pluckily screwed away and he screwed away and it was beautiful. Then we plopped them into the reboiling water. I must say, the little holders are quite cunning and engaging and now warped from the dishwasher, but, still, quite cunning and engaging.

So cunning in fact that three of those little fuckers popped their lids and three eggs escaped to poach away in freedom. See? Freedom is what everyone wants. I don't particularly want three poached eggs as a 5 o'clock canape, but, whatever. They're free and hopping.

Fifteen minutes later I spooned out the poached eggs and the three remaining Eggie holders (who are sitting in the fridge to cool so we can squeeze them out, hopefully).

They're flat topped. I don't know. I'm not an anti-flat top person and have no personal grudge against flat toppers, but it's wrong. Flat topped eggs are wrong. Plus, we're not sure we can get them out of the holders. which makes them Occupy Holders useless flat topped eggs. Who ever heard of a flat topped devilled egg?

The flapping lids, rings and poached egg detritus are sitting in the pan and the clean up will be extensive.

Compare this to:  put eggs in water til just covered, add a bit of vinegar, boil for 10 minutes, cover and let sit. Retrieve ROUND eggs. Cool. Remove shells. Devil.

I also did not use a coupon, which is communist.

11 comments:

  1. I thought the things were a joke at first. And then I thought - cool idea but waaaaay more trouble than they're worth. And more clutter for the kitchen. I have drawers full of crap already. Plus, I don't even like eggs as a rule.

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  2. They're a total disaster. Total.

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  3. Just tap a small hole (like with the tip of a sharp knife) in the bigger end of the egg before boiling...the shell comes off with no problem.

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  4. Who knew that making hard boiled eggs could be such an adventure????

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  5. OMG, LOLOTFR, PSMRQUWT, FURP, POS fail, and fly specks.
    First of all, and MOST IMPORTANT, "TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT" will cause major problems for your run for the presidency, no matter how humorous you are. E.G.,
    "I pluckily screwed away and he screwed away and it was beautiful."
    Amen.
    And followed by, "and then we plopped."
    Oh, dear, oh, dear.

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  6. I KNEW those things were designed by Satan.

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  7. Designed by a very, very incompetent and unfocused satan.

    Screwed and plopped. It's pithy it is.

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  8. LOL... flat topped eggs and Occupy Holders. Love it.

    I guess I didn't realize that some people wait to peel eggs until they are cooled. I generally do it in cold running water and just scald my fingers. Isn't that part of boiling eggs? But I also do my eggs by putting the cold eggs in cold water, bringing to boil, covering and turning off burner then letting them sit for 10 minutes or so. So the eggs aren't just recently boiling when I peel them. I can't think of a time when I wanted to eat hot boiled eggs, so I'd still have to let them cool down even if I didn't have to peel them.

    I also use eggs that are at least 2 weeks old for boiling. Shells come off much easier. I'll have to try Mrs. Who's suggestion.

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  9. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours, Kim!

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  10. I've always been tempted by gadgetry, but have learned from past experience that generally they suck. I have pieces and parts of past sins cluttering my cabinets.

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  11. Thanks Jean! And Jerry, we have massive gadgetry detritus littering our cabinets. It's sad. It's all going into the trash one day when I get up the energy.

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