Nature. It's what's for sleeping.

We love our nature. We do. We're big into natural shit. Like our naturally rotting deck. And naturally dying landscape. And naturally genuinely reblonded hair.

Some nature, however, is unacceptable, like that which enters our house each early morning via the roof.

We've had rats and squirrels enaht in the past make their way into the walls or up into the attic. We knew this because we heard their family fights and screw sessions while we tried to sleep back in the day. Then we had new back siding put up and were shown what and where they'd imposed themselves and thought, wow, now they're gone.

Perhaps it's global charming, and I'll blame algore for that along with just being a total douchebag, but we now have beings of undiscernible size and provenance that chewed a hole the size of the dryer ducts into the fascia or soffit or whatever the hell it is that goes into our house from the outside. It's un.be.liev.able. (I learned all the punctuation from this which was brought to my attention by her, who got it from her goat averse SO.)

Mr. Froth is headed to Home Depot to buy some wire mesh and poison and rat killing mechanisms or something to thwart further disaster. He'll tack it up and then get up at 5 a.m. to seal it up before they come in for their daylong siesta. Holy crap.

Really. Who knows how many and what are in there. Or what death-dealing boogers they're carrying.

I need wine. And to get my toes did. This just sucks.

UPDATE: We think it may be raccoons. Due to the size of the hole which is worthy of a cable company dig we've put out a trap. Our neighbors have a trap that we've used to get possums before. So, we baited that sucker with apple/peanut butter and the morning may be extremely unpleasant. Especially if there are babies floating around. We'll just have to liberate them one by one in a nearby park.