No, not the unrest that is manifesting itself in fabulous chaotic swirls throughout our planet.
I'm talking about the fact that I HAVE SHRUNK ONE INCH. I'm not lying. That is wrong and criminal.
Shit, I had my yearly physical this morning; just the once over type-the indepth whatevers are later (you ladies know what I mean) but they measured me and I've lost 1/2 INCH THIS YEAR ALONE. I think their floor is faulty. The nurse was probably drunk and mentally deficient. The building must be on a fault lending error to any physical measurements like that.
Then I peed all over my hand trying to fill a 1/4 inch worth in that stupid cup.
But, then, THEN, I bought a chorizo sausage burrito at Jack-in-the-Box and it was heavenly.
That will deflect all sorts of slouching beasts.
Monday, February 14, 2011
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You should only go to the doctor or whatever, early in the morning. Your stretchiness size is much higher, your spine has elongated. By 11 am, everything will be compressed.
ReplyDeleteAt 8am I can barely get into msdrfooms' car because I am so 'tall', but by 1 pm I can barely see over the dash.
Timing is everything.
Perhaps you were wearing shorts? ;-)
ReplyDelete..and don't even start me with their scale @Dr's office.
ReplyDeletetheirs always show 1.5lbs higher number than the scale at my gym - and there is nothing I trust more than the scale in my gym!
Thanks for the peeing visual.
ReplyDeleteI once had a nurse at a doctor's office measure me... she said I was 5'5". As I stood right next to her and looked down I asked her how tall she was. She said "I'm 5'4"." At which point I said - I have a good 5 inches on you - do you REALLY think I'm 5'5"? Sheesh. I keep wondering how many times people's heights are screwed up by people like her.
ReplyDeleteAt least the ending turned out good and yummy too!
Tease your hair up like they do on Jersey Shore next time. I only do this so I can have extra inches added on so I can weigh more on their stupid BMI charts. Sonsabitches.
ReplyDeleteI live in constant fear that someone will be taking down the information off my driver's license - probably because I wrote a check at Target or something like that - and will interrupt the proceedings to announce, "They probably got your weight wrong too."
ReplyDeleteI am so teasing my hair! If I can, that is.
ReplyDelete